


This Side of Bliss

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: A Bliss episode addition. Unsettled after the encounter with the bioplasmic organism that the crew was manipulated into thinking was a wormhole to Earth, Chakotay tries to come to terms with his disappointment. Kathryn is there to help.





	This Side of Bliss

Chakotay opened his eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling. Closing his eyes again he tried to quash the feeling of despair that threatened. Opening his eyes once more he heaved his body up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat with his head in his hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

“The time is 06:00, the time is 06:00.” He ran his hands through his hair and gave himself a shake.

“Computer reset alarm for 24 hours.”

He slowly scanned his room. It looked the same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before…. He stopped himself there, it was pointless.

There was his cupboard, and small chest of drawers with his brush and comb neatly placed on top. His bedside table with his copy of A Tale of Two Cities that Kathryn had given him for his last birthday. His rank bar and communicator also lay there in wait. He glanced at the photo of himself and Kathryn taken outside their shelter on New Earth. Looking at it for too long made his heart ache so he reached over and turned it face down. He was in enough pain today. He didn’t need any more misery.

He looked at his chronometer and sighed. Time to start the day. He stood up and stretched. Joints groaned and cracked and he shuffled slowly into the bathroom to go through the tedious ritual of getting ready for duty. Most days he went through the toilet, shower, shave, teeth clean routine without even thinking about it, but today it was just another reminder of what had been snatched away from them….. again.

He leant against the basin and looked at himself in the mirror. The lines around his eyes were deeper and the dark circles under his eyes seemed more pronounced. He lifted a hand up and tugged at the loose skin around his jaw and neck. Time was ticking by and it wasn’t being kind. He’d had a birthday a few months ago. Forty-six years old. And today he was feeling every single day of those forty-six plus years. Where had the time gone? All the wondrous things he was going to do with his life? It seemed like only yesterday that he was a young, enthusiastic crewman setting out on a life of adventure and discovery, and now here he was. His life was half over and looking back over the years in fast rewind, he’d really achieved very little.

Much of what he’d set out to do, he’d only ever half finished. From learning the traditions of his family, his Starfleet career, his time with the Maquis, to this strange twilight that was his life here in the Delta Quadrant. All of these things he’d set out to conquer and all had been snatched away or curtailed through either tragedy or circumstance. Yesterday’s encounter with the bioplasmic organism they had nicknamed the ‘Pitcher Plant’ had just tipped the scales. A real sense of hopelessness had settled over him.

He’d woken up miserable, and now he was positively depressed. The sonic shower was just not going to cut it on a morning like this. Today called for a proper shower.

“Computer, water shower, hot.”

He stripped off his pyjamas, used the head and then ducked under the steaming torrent. The water was invigorating and by the time he emerged ten minutes later he was feeling a little more like himself. He shaved, cleaned his teeth then sauntered out to the bedroom. He opened his closet and grabbed a clean uniform, hauled a tee, boxers and socks from his drawers and threw them on the bed. He picked up his boots, and tossed them on the floor next to the bed. He got dressed as he’d done every morning for the last five years. Boxers, Tee, pants, rank bar, jacket, communicator, socks, boots and then he ran a comb through his hair. Done. He checked himself in the mirror.

There he was, Commander Chakotay, ex-Maquis First Officer of the Intrepid Class Starship Voyager. A lofty title for someone who was feeling lower than a Denebian slime worm’s stomach. He smiled grimly at his reflection, heaved a sigh and headed out the door.

He had time enough for breakfast in the mess hall. He thought it would be a good idea to make an appearance this morning. There were going to be some sad and sorry crew members around this morning, and putting on a brave face was part of his therapy for all of them.

He groaned inwardly. He still had to face Kathryn. He didn’t even want to think of how this would affect her. Just the thought of having to deal with her depression over this nightmare was enough to make him want to turn around and go back to his quarters, climb back under the covers and never come out again.

He knew the routine well enough by now. She would be withdrawn and officious, keeping him and everyone at bay until she got over the initial disappointment and guilt. Then she would find things for all of them to do. They would spend several days rushing around recalibrating the targeting scanners, overhauling the impulse engines, re-routing power from ‘anywhere’ to the Astrometrics lab and reviewing crew schedules. Any tedious chore that she could find to keep her mind off her misery. Then, once all the ‘house keeping’ was done, there would be an invitation to dinner and she would talk of her sorrow and disappointment. He would listen sympathetically and voice the appropriate platitudes. They might even laugh at some of the antics of the crew, then she would say goodnight, thank him for listening and they would go their separate ways. Their farewell at her door would, as always, be tinged with regret. And yesterday’s disappointment would become just another episode in a long line of episodes that chipped away at their resolve.

His disappointment was riding very close to the surface and he wasn’t sure if he had anything in reserve to see her through her distress this time. What he really wanted to do was to rant, and rave, and scream at the unfairness of life. It seemed that the carrot was dangled so many times and just when they thought they’d gotten their teeth into it, it was snatched away. He could feel his shoulders drooping. It was a very dejected and unhappy First Officer who entered the mess hall.

He stood just inside the doorway and quickly scanned the room. All was in its place. Neelix was bustling around, his cheerful and jocular self. Crewmen and women were sitting around in huddles chatting quietly. Tom and B’Elanna were sitting together in the corner, and she was smiling at something Tom was saying. Harry was moving over to join them. As he sat down he said something to them and B’Elanna reached across the table and hit him on the arm, laughing.

The Delaney sisters were sitting with Ayala and Joe Carey. All were talking and smiling. Chakotay frowned and wondered if he was the only one who was upset by yesterday’s turn of events. Tuvok was over by the wall reading a padd. He decided to join him. At least he wouldn’t have to pretend to be happy. Picking up a tray he gathered together a selection of breakfast food and made his way to the table.

“Tuvok, do you mind if I join you?” Tuvok looked up from his padd, his expression bland as usual.

He nodded at Chakotay, indicating the bench opposite. “Commander.”

Chakotay placed his tray on the table and took a seat. “How are you today, Tuvok?”

Tuvok placed his padd next to his empty plate. “I am well, thank you, Commander. And you?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “OK I guess.”

He began eating. Not sure if or how he should broach the subject of his disappointment. Vulcan’s were so hard to read.

“I find meditation helps.”

Chakotay’s head shot up and he looked at Tuvok questioningly.

“When I am troubled as you seem to be today, Commander, I find that meditation helps. I spent several hours last night in deep meditation after our encounter with the bioplasmic organism.”

His shoulders sagged again. “Thanks, Tuvok. That’s good advice. I might give that a try.” He stirred his cereal a few times and contemplated Tuvok’s words and the message behind them.

“Was your vision of our return a happy one, Tuvok?” He placed his spoon on the tray. All of a sudden he wasn’t very hungry anymore.

“Yes it was. I was met by my wife, T’Pel, here in the corridors of Voyager. I realised at the time that it was an unusual place for a reunion and began to doubt the veracity of the experience from that moment onwards. It was pleasant but disconcerting at the same time. Was your ‘vision’ a happy one, Commander?”

“Yes, very.” Tuvok raised a brow in question.

“I was met by representatives of the Academy. The Maquis had all been pardoned and I had been reinstated to Starfleet. I had also been given a professorship in anthropology at Starfleet Academy. It was all I could have wished for. Now that I think about it, I should have been more perceptive. I know Starfleet better than to expect that sort of welcome.” He slumped back in his chair. “Now I don’t know whether to be more disappointed about the fact that I thought I had what I wanted and it was taken away, or that Starfleet is unlikely to ever offer those things to me in reality.” He shook his head and then looked at Tuvok.

Tuvok was watching him, his face completely devoid of any emotion, but Chakotay could have sworn there was a smile lurking behind that impassive visage.

“Sorry, Tuvok. Now I’m getting maudlin. I’ll snap out of it. I promise.” He smiled at his stolid confidante.

Tuvok looked over Chakotay’s shoulder as a familiar voice greeted them. “Good morning, Gentlemen. And how are we today?”

Kathryn Janeway plonked her tray down beside Chakotay’s and he shuffled over to make room for her on the bench. She beamed a happy smile at both her commanders and tucked heartily into her breakfast.

“Good morning, Captain.” Tuvok nodded a greeting.

Chakotay was flabbergasted. Where was the sad and despondent woman he was expecting to meet this morning? “Kathryn?” He looked at her as if she was possessed.

She turned to him and smiled. “Chakotay? Is there something wrong?” She took another mouthful of food. The fact that she was eating after such a disturbing experience was worrying in itself.

She placed her hand on his arm and looked at him with warm concern. He looked down at her hand on his arm and then back at her smiling face. “Huh? Wrong? Oh, um, no, not really.” He briefly wondered if he was still dreaming.

Tuvok picked up his padd and stood. “I’ll see you on the bridge, Captain, Commander.” Kathryn slowly dragged her hand away from his arm and picked up her spoon again.

“Yes, Tuvok, we’ll see you there shortly.”

Chakotay nodded to Tuvok. He was still having trouble equating the happy woman beside him with the imagined depressed and disconsolate captain he was expecting to greet this morning.

“Are you going to eat that muffin, Chakotay?” Kathryn was pointing to the Targaberry muffin that was sitting untouched on his plate.

He shook his head. “No.” She reached around him and grabbed it off his plate, breaking off a piece and popping it in her mouth. He watched totally nonplussed.

“I’m getting another cup of coffee. Would you like something, Chakotay?” She stood up and looked at him, waiting for an answer.

“Ah, oh, another cup of tea. Thanks.” He looked around him again. Everything was as it should be. Some of the crew were a little subdued but no-one looked particularly distraught. Kathryn came back to the table, this time sitting opposite him, and placed his fresh cup of tea in front of him.

“Thank you, Kathryn.”

“My pleasure, Chakotay.” She watched him carefully. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little out of sorts.”

“No, truly, I’m fine. I was feeling a bit… disappointed about our experience yesterday, but the crew seem to be coping ok and you…. well, you seem to be coping very well.” She cocked her head to the side and frowned. “Well to be honest, Kathryn, I expected you to be upset, or at the very least disappointed this morning after supposedly being so close to home and then having it snatched away again.”

She nodded knowingly. “You know, Chakotay, I expected to feel like that as well, but as it turned out my ‘dream’ homecoming wasn’t as grand as I imagined it to be.” She broke off another piece of muffin and took a bite.

“How was it not what you expected?” Now he was curious.

She looked around her quickly. “I’d love to tell you about it, but just not here. Dinner at my place tonight at say…. 18:00? I’ll fill you in then.” He nodded, still waiting for the bubble to burst. She picked up her napkin and dabbed her lips. “Now it’s time to get to work.” She stood up and dropped her napkin on her plate. “Are you coming, Commander?”

She held out her hand. Chakotay automatically placed his hand in hers and she made a show of hauling him from his seat. Those crewmen who were close by chuckled. She smiled at them and rolled her eyes. He felt like he was the only one not in on the joke. Whatever had happened to Kathryn in her imagined homecoming, it’d had an astonishingly positive impact on her demeanour. Now he was dying to know what had happened. As he stood beside her she gave his hand a quick squeeze before letting it go and striding out of the mess hall. He took off after her, almost having to jog to keep up.

He studied her surreptitiously while they rode the turbo lift to the bridge. There was an energy and a glow about her that hadn’t been there for such a long time. It was as if her ‘trip’ home had infused her with a new lease of life. It was wonderful and irresistibly attractive.

The lift slowed and just before the doors opened, she turned and looked at him. It was like a gut punch. Her eyes were sparkling and lit with undisguised affection. The doors opened and she stepped out, and turning back she waited for him to alight. He shook himself and smiling apologetically, stepped out on to the bridge.

It was going to be a long day.

However, some things never change. The day flew by. Kathryn had everyone running hither and thither, checking systems and running diagnostics. There were repairs to be made and damaged systems to be overhauled, and Chakotay spent most of the day darting from one department to the next keeping an eye on their progress. He only saw Kathryn once during the entire shift. She was leaving the mess hall just as he was arriving for a late lunch.

She grinned a hello and then grabbed his arm. “Don’t forget, dinner, my quarters, 18:00.” He smiled in return and tapped the side of his head.

“Got it, Captain.”

Her grin widened, she squeezed his arm again and then turned and strode up the corridor. He watched as she walked away from him, only to turn back and find Tom Paris standing in front of him with a knowing grin on his face.

“It’s good to see her so happy, isn’t it, Chakotay?”

Chakotay frowned and tried to cover the fact that he’d been ogling his captain. “Yes it is, Ensign.” He tried to move past Tom.

“Chakotay, it’s ok for her to be happy. That’s all the crew have ever wanted for her….. and for you.”

Chakotay looked at the man before him. He was a very different man these days. He had evolved from the callow youth who had arrived on Voyager all those years ago. He’d wondered what B’Elanna had seen in him at first, but he’d matured and grown and perhaps he was someone he could look to as a friend. Tom grinned at him and then slapped him on the back as he moved past. “Don’t forget. 18:00.”

Then again, he was still a supercilious bastard sometimes, but he couldn’t help a smile from creeping across his face. He pulled his shoulders back and strode into the mess hall. He was feeling a hell of a lot better now than he had this morning and it all had to do with the woman who could make him laugh or cry on a whim.

At 17:40 Chakotay filed his final report and handed the bridge over to the Beta shift. If he hurried he could have a quick shower and change before he was due at Kathryn’s. In retrospect, he was glad for the busy day. Any spare minute he’d had today had found his mind wandering to thoughts of his captain and the possible reasons behind her good humour. Speculating wasn’t getting him anywhere, so the busy schedule had kept his mind and body occupied.

He stripped off his jacket as he strode through his door and by the time he made it to the bathroom he was naked, with a trail of clothing behind him. A quick sonic shower later, some clean clothes, and grabbing a bottle of wine from the replicator, he was pressing the chime on Kathryn’s door with minutes to spare.

The door slid open and he was greeted with the glow of candles and lilting sounds of soft piano music. She was lighting candles on the dinner table and turned towards him as he entered. The candle light and the backlight from the passing stars gave her an ethereal glow that took his breath away.

“There you are. That was quick. I checked your whereabouts half an hour ago and you were still on the bridge. I thought you’d forgotten.” She glided over towards him and took the bottle of wine from his sweating hands.

Her hair was falling in soft waves about her shoulders and she was wearing a dress of dark blue. It reached almost to the floor and Chakotay realised that the reason she looked so different was that she wasn’t wearing any shoes. Her head only came to his shoulder when she wasn’t in her three inch heels. It gave her a completely different aura. He watched as she pulled the cork from the bottle with a satisfying pop and poured two generous glasses of wine. She handed him one.

She raised her glass and chinked it against his. “Here’s to home.”

He still hadn’t said a word since he’d arrived. Words seemed to have taken flight, along with his heart. She looked beautiful. She smiled at him over the top of her wine glass as she took a sip.

He smiled back at her. “Home.”

Taking a sip of the wine, he tried to hide his joy and astonishment at her change in attitude. They stood smiling at one another for a loaded minute and then the chime on the replicator sounded, jarring them out of their visual embrace.

“Dinner.” She turned and headed towards the table. “I hope you’re hungry. I’ve been slaving over the replicator for the last…oh… twenty minutes.” She lifted a steaming tray from the console and turned back towards him grinning.

He nodded sagely as she placed it on the table. “It’s ok. Tom knows I’m here for dinner, so if we need a medic, he knows where to find me.”

She laughed and clasped her hands over her heart. “Oh Chakotay, you wound me. This is an old family recipe. Ratatouille. And if you insult it, you’re insulting generations of Janeways. I’ll warn you now that it’s not a wise thing to do. You don’t want the wrath of Great Aunt Hester coming down on your head, let me tell you.”

He couldn’t stop smiling. His cheeks were starting to ache from the permanent grin that had been plastered on his face since the moment he’d arrived.

He loved her when she was like this. He loved her any old way, but his heart sang when she was joyful and playful. She was an astonishing woman. Truly astonishing.

He took his seat opposite her as she ladled a good helping of Great Aunt Hester’s Ratatouille on to his plate. After serving herself she put the tray back in the replicator and took a seat. She offered him the basket of bread.

“Great Great Grandfather Johnson’s pumpkin bread. Tonight we’re going on an ancestral tour of Janeway culinary delights.” Still grinning, he took a piece of the bread. She took a piece as well and breaking off a bit, dunked it in her stew and ate it enthusiastically. She nodded for him to start. “Taste tested and I’m still living. Eat up, Chakotay.”

Shaking his head in dazed amusement, he lifted his fork and began devouring the famous family delicacy.

He looked up at her after a moment in surprise.

“This is delicious, Kathryn. You’ve never cooked this before.”

“No I haven’t. I like to save some things for special occasions.” He blinked at that and was about to ask her what the special occasion was but she continued. “Wait until you taste Aunt Martha’s Apple Crumble. It’s to die for.”

He looked at her in mock terror. “I see now. You’re just lulling me into a false sense of security and you’re going to do me in with dessert.”

She laughed out loud. A glorious sound that he hadn’t heard for years it seemed.

“Ok, poor use of words there, but just finish that and you’ll see.”

The banter continued through the rest of the meal. Kathryn refilled their glasses several times and by the time they’d munched their way through Aunt Martha’s delicious Apple Crumble, they were both very relaxed and teetering on the brink of being quite tipsy.

Chakotay hadn’t laughed so much in a very long time. Kathryn was in top form tonight and had led him on a merry chase through her family history. It appeared that she had come from a long line of nonconformists and reprobates and she took great pride in her eccentric forbearers.

They settled on her couch with their coffees and sat quietly contemplating. Chakotay wasn’t sure if the time was right, but he had to know.

“Kathryn, I don’t want to spoil the mood, but you said you would tell me about your experience of home that you had with the ‘Pitcher Plant’?”

She cradled her coffee mug in both hands and leant back into the couch. “Mmmmm.”

Worried that he’d upset her good mood, he tried to retrieve the moment. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She turned to him with an earnest look on her face. “Oh no, Chakotay, its fine, I want to tell you. I’m just not sure how to begin.” She looked into her coffee as if the answer was in there and then she lifted her head and faced him with a slight frown. “Will you tell me what happened to you first and then I’ll tell you what I experienced?” He shrugged and placed his empty mug on the table.

“Sure.” Sitting back he placed his arm along the back of the couch. She turned towards him and waited patiently for him to start talking. “Well, it was wonderful. The Maquis were all exonerated and I was reinstated to Starfleet. I was met by a representative committee from the Academy and given a professorship in Anthropology. It was all I could have ever wanted. When I woke up, after the neurogenic field had dispersed, I was devastated that it hadn’t been real. This morning I could barely drag myself out of bed. I was disappointed that it hadn’t been real, and what made it worse was the fact that it most likely won’t be if we ever reach Earth.” He shrugged his shoulders a little, embarrassed at having revealed so much of his fantasy. “I hadn’t realised how much I wanted those things until they were taken away. Not that I’d really had them in the first place, but…… well, you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do.” She leant forward and placed her arm next to his on the back of the couch. ‘Funny isn’t it, how you don’t think you want something and then find that you do or in my case, you hanker after something for so long and then find it isn’t what you wanted after all.”

He frowned at her, not quite sure what she was saying.

“Sorry, I’ll explain.” She was picking at the fabric on his shirt sleeve as she spoke. “I arrived home to be met by the Admiralty. There was Brass as far as the eye could see. I was given accolades and commendations. My Admiral’s bars were waiting for me along with my mother and sister. Mark was there too. His engagement had been called off and I expected to feel relief and joy at being with him again. The trouble was, I soon realised that apart from seeing my mother and sister again, I didn’t want any of those things. Mark included.” There was a shimmer of tears in her eyes.

“Oh Kathryn, I’m sorry.” She looked at him and gave him a sad smile.

“Don’t be. I should have realised that you can’t go back. We’ve been through so much out here and we’re changed people. It will be impossible to just slot back into our lives when we go back. But that isn’t what made my behaviour today so unusual. The whole time that I was being feted and praised, there was something missing. It took me a while, but I finally put my finger on what it was.” Her hand had stilled on his arm, and she was looking at him intently.

He could hardly breathe. The intensity of her look was taking his breath away. He whispered, “What was it, Kathryn? What was missing?”

She smiled gently. “You.”

That was it. Now he couldn’t breathe at all. He just sat and stared at her in total disbelief. She was starting to go out of focus.

“Chakotay? Chakotay, you have to breathe. Please don’t pass out on me.” She leant forward and shook his shoulder.

He took a great gasping breath and breathed out a word. “Me?”

She nodded her head. “Does that surprise you? It took me a moment to come to terms with the realisation too, but then it seemed so obvious. I love you and have done for a long time. Going home was nothing compared to being here with you.”

He’d forgotten to breathe again. She’d just said she loved him. He had to do something. This day had been insane. He jumped up from the couch and began pacing back and forth across her quarters. He stopped in front of her and opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of anything, so he closed his mouth and started pacing again. He stopped in front of the table and looked at the remains of their meal. He’d been inducted into the Janeway culinary hall of fame and she loved him. He laughed. A loud crack of laughter and then he turned back towards her and in two paces he had planted himself in front of her, scooped her up from the couch and was holding her to him in a tight, warm hug. He wrapped his arms around her almost trying to meld her to him.

‘You love me.” He laughed again. “You love me.” She started to laugh too.

“I’ve wanted to tell you all day, but thought I’d better wait until we were alone. I was terrified all day that something was going to happen, and I wouldn’t get the chance.” He looked at her, his joy and love overflowing. “Silly I know, but the damn Delta Quadrant has a habit of throwing us for a loop when we least expect it.”

His face was caught in that face-aching smile again and all he could think about was the fact that she loved him and she was in his arms at last.

“Oh Kathryn, Kathryn. This is wonderful. No, it’s better than wonderful. It’s perfect.” He was overwhelmed.

She loved him. He looked down into her laughing face and tears pricked at his eyes. His day had been one of emotional extremes. He had travelled from the depths of despair to this wonderful, wonderful high. He was holding the woman he loved in his arms. It was something he’d thought would never happen and here he was, and here she was, looking at him with love and, could it be desire?

His breath caught again and he suddenly became very aware of her body pressed against his, her breasts flush against his chest and her soft but yielding form, moulded into his. His hands now had a life of their own as they stroked and smoothed over her body. He began to learn the feel of her as she melted into his embrace.

Her hands were making their own journey over his body. She leaned back slightly, their lower bodies tightly pressed to one another as she stroked up his arms and over his shoulders. Her eyes were following the path of her hands. He shuddered as she placed them on his stomach and trailed them up his chest to finish up on either side of his face. Their eyes locked as she pulled his face towards her. Her features blurred as his eyes closed and their lips met. He couldn’t stifle a groan as her mouth yielded under his and their tongues met in a frantic dance. He lifted her off the ground and swung her around. He let her feet drop gently to the floor and with one arm wrapped firmly around her he leant back and ran his hand through her hair.

He traced her brow and her cheek bones and then ran a finger along her strong jaw to her chin. Tracing her lips with his fingers, her mouth opened slightly and he felt her hot breath caress his fingertips. He shuddered and she moved closer. Their warm breaths mingled as they held their lips millimetres apart. Just before they touched, he whispered against her mouth. “I love you, Kathryn, with all my heart.”

She made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a whimper as their mouths met in a heated and hungry kiss. She was groaning as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head closer to her. She was attacking his mouth and began to clamber up his body. He lifted her, holding her under her bottom, as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She yanked her head back and gasped a deep breath.

“Oh God. I knew it. I just knew it would be like this.” She lifted her hand up and traced his tattoo and then smiling she wriggled up higher on his body and kissed the blue lines that had fascinated her for so long.

With her legs wrapped around him, he could feel the heat radiating from her centre through their clothes. She wrapped her arms around him again and whispered in his ear. “The bedroom is that way.” He looked over his shoulder at the doorway and turned to move in that direction.

Unable to see where he was going, his shin hit her coffee table with a crack. “Ouch, damn.” He started a hopping limp in the general direction that she had told him to go. His other leg then banged into her chair. “Ow! Hell.” He was tottering and doing a slow circle as his left foot hit the ottoman. “Oh no. Hold on.” He pivoted and landed in her lounge chair with her sitting astride his hips. The skirt of her dress had ridden up, almost to her hips.

She laughed and then began unbuttoning his shirt. “This will have to do then. I can’t wait any longer.”

He grinned up at her. “Fair enough.” And then began to undo her dress. He slipped one button undone and then two and with the third he could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He slipped his hand in the front of her dress and cupped her breast.

“Mmmm. That’s nice.” She shimmied a little closer. “Here.” She stopped the pleasurable task of revealing his chest and pulled his hand from her front. Crossing her arms over, she grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head, tossing it aside. She was now sitting astride him wearing only the skimpiest pair of panties. She took his hand again and placed it on her breast.

“There, that’s better.” She was smiling a wicked smile as she went back to her task. She tugged the bottom of his shirt from his pants and unbuttoning the last fastener, she made a show of pulling the sides of his shirt apart. Running her hands over his bare chest she then leant forward and kissed the golden expanse. He thrust up at her. She bit at her bottom lip and then wriggled against his erection.

She slid off his lap and began undoing his pants.

“Lift up.” As he lifted his hips off the chair she slid his pants and boxers down in one movement. He toed off his shoes and kicked his pants away from him. She stood in between his legs and ran her hands through his hair. He leant forward and kissed her belly. He nuzzled lower and ran his tongue along the top of her panties. He could smell her arousal and feel the heat radiating from her. A flush had started to work its way up her body.

“Take them off, Chakotay, please. I need to feel you.” Oh God. How was he ever going to last? He slipped her panties off and she clambered up onto the chair with her legs astride him.

She bent down and took his mouth in a shattering kiss. Pulling her mouth away, she whispered against his lips. “Touch me, Chakotay. I need your touch.”

He groaned, and swung her around so she was sitting sideways on his lap. Her head rested against his shoulder and his left arm supported her shoulders. His right hand began its exploration. It drifted down over her breasts. He cupped each one and ran his rough palms over each nipple watching in fascination as they drew themselves into hard puckered nubs. He leant over and kissed each of them and then sucked them into his mouth and laved and nipped at them as Kathryn squirmed on his lap. While his mouth was busy with her breasts, his hand was moving down her body. He stroked up and down her thighs until he slid his fingers through her curls, in between her hot moist folds and slowly inserted a finger into her warm depths. Kathryn bucked against his hand and whimpered. He began stroking his finger in and out, massaging her clitoris with his thumb.

He moved away from her breasts, desperate to watch this awesome sight of Kathryn moving towards her climax.

She was thrusting against his finger as she grabbed her breast and started pulling and pinching her nipple. She groaned. “More, please, more.” He inserted a second finger and then a third as he pistoned in and out of her dripping sex.

All of a sudden she grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her and panted into his face. “No, not without you.”

Before he knew what was happening. She had leapt up from his lap, turned to sit astride him again and was lowering herself onto him. As her tight moist heat closed around him, he let out a stifled moan. “Oh Spirits, Kathryn. So good, so fucking good.”

He held her tight to him, his hands holding her hips still, giving himself a moment to calm. She leant forward and hunted for his mouth, taking it in a gentle wet kiss. She moved her mouth around to his neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. She bit lightly on his earlobe as she ground herself down on to him. Her inner muscles tightened. The feeling was exquisite.

When he knew he wasn’t going to come straight away, he began to lift her off him slightly and then let her drop down again as he thrust. She threw her head back and grasped his shoulders for some leverage.

He watched her face as she rocked against him. Her eyes were closed, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her breasts bobbed up and down in front of his face. He leant forward and caught a nipple between his lips, moving one hand up behind her back to hold her to him.

Kathryn was in heaven. He filled her, body and soul, and as she moved towards completion, she looked down. Pulling his head away from her breast, she held it between her hands and looked into his beautiful eyes. She muttered with each thrust. “I love you…. I love you…..I love you.”

It was too much for him. He could feel her muscles start to quiver around him and as he swelled, her inner muscles clamped down on him and they both slammed into each other and called out as their climax took them.

She felt his warmth flood her and the feeling pushed her orgasm to new heights. She finally slumped against him with a groan.

“My god.” She had her face tucked into his neck and she started to chuckle. “Is it just me, or are we really good together?” She lifted her head up and smiling at him, she leant forward and kissed and nibbled at his lips. “It’s been a while, but I can’t remember it ever being like that.”

He swept her hair away from her face and looked deeply into her eyes. He was overcome.

She noted his serious expression and the tears glistening in his eyes. “Oh, Chakotay, my love. It was wonderful, wasn’t it?” She wrapped her arms around him trying to soothe him.

“It was more than wonderful, Kathryn, and we’re better than good together. We’re perfect. Come here.” He kissed her deeply again and Kathryn could feel him stirring within her. She started to move slowly on him and pulling back a little, she looked into his eyes. They were still misty, but his love shone through and she held his gaze as their arousal spiralled. She rocked gently backwards and forwards, feeling him harden and lengthen within her. Their eyes stayed locked together, and as they moved towards their second climax, the room faded around them and their eyes were filled only with each other.

Their orgasms hit simultaneously and in that moment of perfect unity a bond was forged that touched their souls.

Slowly the world faded back into view and with a sigh Kathryn rested her forehead against his. “Mmmmm. That was wonderful.”

“It’s not over yet.”

She snuggled into him. “Hmmm. I’m afraid it is for me. For now.” She tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. “Oh, I’m sorry, but you’ve worn me out.” She sat up a little and kissed his lips sweetly. “Come to bed with me?”

He captured her lips again in a deep kiss, and standing up with her in his arms, he carried her, successfully this time, into the bedroom. She leant over in his arms and pulled back the covers.

Laying her gently on the bed, he ordered lights out and climbed in the other side. She snuggled up close to him and sighed. Lifting up she looked at him with sleepy eyes.

“Goodnight, my love.”

He kissed her sweetly. “Goodnight, Kathryn.”

She could barely keep her eyes open and lay her head down on his shoulder and within minutes her breathing had slowed and deepened. Chakotay watched her sleep for a while. It was something he’d never imagined himself doing, and yet here he was. His dearest wish had come true. The sound of her slow, steady breaths and the comforting warmth of her presence soon lulled him to sleep. His last thought before he drifted off was that he would never let her go now that he had her.

He awoke the next morning and found his rumpled and warm captain still tucked under his arm, fast asleep. Her hand was resting on his chest and her mouth was slightly open, blowing small puffs of warm air across his shoulder and on to his neck. He watched her as she slept, her face soft and relaxed. She was a beautiful woman. He kissed her head gently and eased his arm out from under her head. She mumbled something in her sleep and then rolled over. The sheet fell away from her and her lean back was exposed all the way down to the small of her back. The temptation to touch her was intense, but he didn’t want to wake her just yet. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and padded quietly into the bathroom.

After using the head, he stood in front of the mirror and studied his face. Was it only yesterday that he’d looked at this same face and bemoaned his life? He looked closely again. It was still the same face. The lines and dark circles were still there. He tugged at the loose skin. Nothing had changed, but then, everything had changed. He was looking at the face of a happy man. His eyes shone with a new life and his mouth had relaxed into a permanent half smile. He grinned at his reflection and thought to himself what a difference 24 hours can make. Taking one last look at the happy contented man in the mirror, Chakotay turned and headed back to the bedroom. He slid into his side of the bed and pulled her back into his arms. Kathryn’s eyes opened a slit and she gave him a smile and mumbled. “Morning.”

He smiled as her body relaxed again and drifted back to sleep. Holding her close he knew he was the happiest man alive. This was bliss.

_Fin_


End file.
